Transgression
by Skaiaa
Summary: OLD FIC - "Your voice oozes over me like thick honey and for a moment, I can't breathe." Riku/Roxas. Slight Riku/Sora. Drabble.


Warning: Shounen-ai?

* * *

The sun hits me like fire.

But I do nothing to shield myself.

I hate how weak I am. I find it unfair in a way, how he was the strong one. The confident one. The better one.

I was weak, pathetic, the loser. A small laugh escapes me but not even I can find any humor in it. It's bitter and reminds me of ashes. It doesn't surprise me that you chose him.

What does surprise me though, is how I can sit here watching you two and not scream in anger and frustration.

I can feel my skins cells slowly burning away into nothing but at this point I feel like it's all I deserve. I'm probably going to be sun-burnt when I go back inside. I'm pale, not tan like him. Not impervious to the sun like him.

Your laughter floats over, riding the currents of wind to reach me. It washes over me like an icy flood. You're probably laughing over something cute or funny he did.

I remember the one time you talked to me. When Sora wasn't home for once. When you came looking for him and he just wasn't around. It was less than five minutes, but it was all the time it took.

I fell for you then, and ever since it has just grown.

You were kind and sweet and for once in my life I passionately wanted something _he_ had.

Of course I couldn't have you though. That would go against the rules. The rules for people like me. People like me can't have people like you.

The sun catches your silver hair, giving it an almost golden tinge. I wonder if you notice me watching you.

You do.

Because in the next instant your eyes catch mine and you give me a small smirk. I can't possible bring myself to look away, not when I finally have your gaze on me.

The moment is over as soon as it starts. Sora tugs on your shirt, drawing your attention back to him. I'm left in a daze but I see you whisper something into his ear.

He turns to look at me.

He scoffs. Brushes me off. Explaining, probably, that you should just ignore his annoying little brother. You glance back at me for a moment before focusing on Sora again.

For a moment I consider pretending to busy myself with something so it doesn't just look like I'm staring at you. I dismiss the thought. There's no point really. And I want you to know anyways.

Know how much I want you.

How much I _need_ you.

He says something I don't pay attention to and you both get up. I listen and I hear him mumble a small 'I'll be back in ten," before kissing you lightly and waltzing out the back gate.

We're alone now and I get the feeling I should leave also. Just as I start to get up though, I hear your voice.

"Come here." You say.

Your voice oozes over me like thick honey and for a moment, I can't breathe.

I obey, and in moments I'm standing in front of you, looking at you with eyes long dead. Inside I'm a mess of nerves and butterfly's, but outside I stare at you almost blankly. Again, your voice pours over me.

"Roxas right?" You purr. All I can do is nod.

"How old are you." You say again.

"Seventeen." I choke out, voice cracking at the end. You seem amused by this because I see that little smirk make its way onto your lips.

You hum lightly and suddenly your finger tips are running along my sides. Your just grazing my shirt but the gesture sends shivers up my spine. I want to say something but I fear I'll ruin it.

So I stay silent.

Silent as your fingers trace my hip bone. Silent as you bring up your hands to run through my blond spikes. Silent as I slide my eyes shut because I just can't take your vivid gaze.

For a moment, I worry that someone will see us, out here in the backyard, we're so exposed. But no one does.

No one sees me inch closer. No one sees me drape my arms lightly on your shoulders. No one sees _you _tug me in for a chaste kiss. At this point I do open my eyes and my thoughts shift over to Sora.

Sora. My brother.

"This is wrong." I manage, in a quiet, breathy whisper. You shake your head.

"It doesn't feel wrong." You say. The words make my knees weak and I tremble, though your hand on my waist holds me up.

Before I can answer though, I hear a voice.

_His_ voice.

"What are you two doing?" He sounds surprised. You look irked. I must look terrified.

"There was a bug on the kid and he couldn't reach it himself." You lie smoothly, letting your hands linger for just a moment before pulling away.

He seems to accept this without question. After all what else could you and his loser little brother be doing? If he even suspects it, he shoves it down so deep there isn't even an ounce of suspicion on his face.

He says something again but I'm not listening. You get up and smile at me.

"See you around kiddo." You say.

You get up and walk over to my brother and the both of you are gone. It's only then I allow the full extent of what just happened to reach me.

My knees buckle and I fall, landing in soft grass. You did something to me. Something I'm not sure means anything to you. But it affects me more than you could possibly know. My own fingers reach up and lightly touch my lips. The place where you kissed.

The thought alone sets me on fire and I'm left wondering,

Will you be back to do it again?


End file.
